Why Are You So Cold, Yu Kanda?
by YuKanda18
Summary: Natsume Akiyama is new and unfamiliar to the Black Order. She had lost everything and needed to do something to have a reason to live. She is completely afraid and alone until she comes upon Yu Kanda. The cold exorcist. But maybe deep down he isn't so mean. Natsume tries to get close. And what she finds out may just be the key to the happiness she needs.


This is my first time on fanfiction. I don't own the D. Gray-Man characters nor do I own the anime. I only own the character and the story. Please review and comment and tell me what you think. Enjoy!

I sauntered through the halls of the Black Order, heading over to my room. I was the new exorcist here. My name was Natsume Akiyama. I had just arrived a few hours ago and now I followed behind cheif Komui's assistant, Lenalee Lee.

"And this is your room, Natsume. I hope you feel at home." Lenalee told me kindly, standing beside a closed door. She had a friendly smile on her face and I wondered how she could smile so easily in a war like this.

_No. This will never feel like a home. I didn't want to come, but I had no choice. I had to. For him. _I thought, but I just masked my features with a smile.

"Thank you." I said kindly and opened the door and stepped into my room, waving slightly.

I went to close the door, but Lenalee stopped it with her hand and opened it slightly, sticking her head in. Her eyes were serious and her smile was gone.

"Tomorrow you get your first assignment, okay?" She said and looked at me.

I nodded and made sure she had stepped out of my room before closing the door. I slid down the wall and pulled my knees up to my chest, putting my head on them. This was going to be a long war, I knew. I needed to do what I could to help. Both me and my Innocence.

My Innocence is a katana I called Akila. It had the power of fire.

I took my sheath off my back and stared at it, unsheathing my katana. The cold steel felt good against my fingers as I ran my fingers up and down the side of the blade. The moonlight caught a glimpse of the steel and made it shine, the light reflecting off my blue sapphire necklace he had given me. That boy I had loved so much. The shaggy brown hair, blue eyes, tall, funny. He was gone now.

I put my head on my knees once again and stared at the floor. _He is gone._ I told myself. _Stop mourning. Just keep moving forward. Don't look back._

~~~Time Skip~~~

A knock on the door woke me up, making me growl under my breath. Seriously? At freaking 6:00 a.m. in the morning?

"What?" I asked tiredly sitting up in bed.

"Natsume, this is Lenalee. Chief Komui needs to see you for your first assignment. Please get ready and be down there is 15 minutes."

Damn them. I growled under my breath as I hopped out of bed and changed my shirt from a tank top to a black mid-drift shirt that made it easy to fight. I changed into a pair of blue jean pants and grabbed my katana, exiting the room. I headed down to Komui's office, knocking on his door once I got there.

"Chief Komui, it's me, Natsume." I said and opened the door slightly.

When I poked my head in, I saw chief Komui and a man in front of his desk. The man was fairly tall. He had long black hair that was high in a ponytail. He, too, had a katana. His face did not look friendly, however.

"Oh, hello, Nastume. Please, do come in." Komui said and motioned to the couch.

Ever so timidly, I stepped in and closed the door behind me, taking a few steps forward, and then another few steps until I stood next to the couch, sitting down on it. The man huffed and he glared at me. I averted my eyes and looked down while Komui spoke.

"Natsume, this is Kanda. I am sending you two to go as a team to Stockholm, Sweden where there is a possibility of an Innocence. Bad storms had been there and haven't stopped. There have been several akuma spotted and we are afraid they are in search of the Innocence. Now please hurry and get to it before an akuma gets to it first." Komui said and pulled down a map to show us where Sweden was.

Komui handed us a couple of thin black booklets. "These are your briefs."

I flipped through it several times just to get a good look at the way it was written. I stood, nodding my head before following shortly behind Kanda to exit the office. Once we were outside in the hallway, I stopped and looked at him for a moment.

"Uh, Kanda?" I asked timidly and looked away when he stopped.

"What?" He growled.

That made me flinch. I stepped from foot to foot. Okay, I had already started this conversation, so I couldn't back out now. But my mind was completely blank and I didn't know what to do or say. I couldn't even think straight. My heart pounded so hard I could hear it in my ears and feel it in my temples. Knowing I was going to get know where with just standing there like a complete idiot, I said the only think I could think of.

"Uh... It is very nice to meet you." I said and held out my hand, not smiling nor frowning. I didn't know what I was doing. I must have looked like a complete idiot with this timid look in my eyes. What was this man going to do?

Kanda stared at my hand for a moment before he looked up at me. He huffed, taking his attention off of me and continuing to walk forward. I stared at him, my breath caught in my throat. What he did had hurt, but he could have done something a lot worse. I watched him disappear down the hall. When he was completely out of my sight, I let out a huge sigh of relief and put a hand over my heart, shaking a little. Yep, that was one of the reasons why my social were probably a 2 out of 10. I couldn't come out and talk to people very well.

I walked down the hall and headed for my room to grab a few things, but I was greeted at the door by Lenalee. She smiled warmly and waved at me, the wave accompanied by a "hello".

"Hey, Lenalee, what are you doing here?"

"I came to say good luck and give you your exorcist jacket. It's durable through battle, so it may be pretty comfortable." Lenalee said as she lead me down the hall to the science department.

"Um...thanks, I guess?" What else could I say? I didn't know.

Lenalee handed me a jacket and a skirt, similar to what she was wearing. I shook my head slightly, being careful as not to hurt her feelings. Skirts weren't really my style. I was more of a skinny jeans and a jacket type of girl.

"I'm sorry, Lenalee, but I just can't wear this." I said, trying not to hurt her. That would be a bad thing if I accidentally hurt the head chief's assistant.

"Oh, it is quite alright." Lenalee said, brushing off the refusal. She rummaged through a closet before pulling out an exorcist jacket that would stop at my waist. "This is the only one of your size we have right now and it has a hood. Would that be okay?"

I smiled slightly, taking the jacket from her. "Yes, it works perfectly."

Lenalee smiled. "I'm glad you like it."

I thanked her again before rushing up to my room to pack a few things for the mission.

~~~Time Skip~~~

I stared out the window on the train, watching the blurry colors of green and brown pass by. The train went over a bridge, letting me see a nice blue lake. It was pretty and the sun glinted off the shining water. It looked quite beautiful.

Kanda sat across from me, he himself staring out the window. I stared at him for a few moments before looking away. This mission wasn't going to take too long, was it? Honestly, Kanda kind of scared me. But that didn't mean I wouldn't talk to him. I wasn't _that_ scared of him.

"Um, Kanda, what kind of storms did Komui mention?" I asked as I looked in Kanda's direction.

Kanda didn't look at me and for a moment I thought he was simply ignoring me until he started to speak. "Storms? I don't know and I don't really care."

I sighed. I was half expecting him to say that. Damn, this man was mean. I mean-my best friend and whom I thought to be my soul mate started out mean when I first met him in _that place_. I shivered. No. I'm never going back to that place. That place never really felt like home. It felt more like a dungeon to me.

"I was expecting you to say that." I said as I rubbed my forehead, brushing my bangs out of my eyes.

"Che..." Kanda looked out the window again.

Just as I said. He is mean. This mission is going to be a long one...


End file.
